(Haley-Bug and Mimi in their jammies just before midnight on New Year's Eve 2009, getting ready to toast with Aunt Kelly, Grandma, and Grandpoppy!)
I miss the cute wiggly toes that filled out those pink bunny 'slippers' so much, especially when a certain silly baby would get all excited and kick, kick, kick like she was going to fly away!Last Thursday, Chadmo went with me to a CE seminar at the Columbus Zoo. It was lots of fun because for about an hour before the dinner/seminar, the Asia Quest region was opened for the people attending the event even though the rest of the zoo was shut down for the night. It was a beautiful evening, the weather couldn't have been better, and it was sooo cool to feel like you were at your own private zoo! Maybe a few other attendees would happen along, but mostly you were at each exhibit by yourself.
Chadmo and I were walking from the Tiger exhibit to the Lion exhibit when I started feeling very sad and telling him how excited I'd been to bring Haley to the zoo. We were talking about how much fun it would have been to bring her in her baby bjorn to look at the giant aquarium, the manatees, and she might have even been getting old enough by this spring to enjoy the capuchins and more active monkeys too. There were so many things I was so excited to show her and experience with her, and it's so hard to do those things without her now. We were both feeling pretty sad in general when, just as we walked up to admire the 2 lionesses and 3 cubs, a female cardinal flew over and landed about 2 feet away from us on the walkway. It was the first and last cardinal we saw that day, and it was truly like Haley was saying "I AM here with you Mommy and Daddy, don't be sad." And honestly, it did make us feel better. Some things just can't be coincidences. Thank you, Aunt Patty, for making us aware of the cardinals in our life.
I saw a cardinal the other day and had a similar thought - how special moments like that are, though they don't necessarily make it any easier.
ReplyDeleteLove you guys and we're excited to see you in a few days!
Syd
What a sweet reminder that Haley is walking with you always!! I'm so glad you get moments like that, to make you smile, even if only for the moment!
ReplyDeletePraying for you always!
My prayers are being answered, I sense some "hope" in this post! I'm a firm believer that there really are no coincidences, if we keep our eyes (and hearts) open to what could be. Thinking of you constantly. Love, Aunt Patty
ReplyDeleteI can't think of a more beautiful bird than a cardinal!
ReplyDeleteKristy,
ReplyDeleteThat picture is so sweet. She looks so precious in those slippers.
And hey, I will never look at cardinals the same way again. I'm with you - "some things just can't be coincidences".
We think the world of you guys.
Praying,
Kate
My mother used to tell my sister and I the story of the bluebird of happiness. After she died, Mark & I moved into our new home in the country and I was by myself one day feeling sad and missing my mother. I went upstairs to the front spare bedroom and looked out the front dormer window. It overlooks the roof over the front porch and the roof was covered with what must have been hundreds of bluebirds! We've never seen anything like it since and I'm convinced it was a sign from my mother letting me know she was there with me and everything was going to be ok.
ReplyDeleteI have other similar stories, having lost both my parents and a newborn baby. And I have no doubt that there is a heaven and that our loved ones do stay with us and look in on us to comfort us.
Hailey will always be with you and Chad, no matter where you are or how many years go by. And one day, when it's your time to meet her in heaven, she will be first in line to greet you with open arms and sweet baby kisses.
I had a dream about Haley last night! It seemed so real. I thought, I'd come here and look at her sweet pictures.
ReplyDeleteMay your summer be blessed with cardinals and lady bugs.
ReplyDeleteKristy, you are an amazing mother. I love reading your posts and "hearing" how you are dealing with your grief. I think I enjoy it so much because of all the special moments you are sharing with us from your memories of Haley.
I know it is painful and I cannot imagine how difficult it is for you, but I do hope you and Chad take comfort in all your beautiful memories and pictures. If there is anything that will bring you peace, it is the incredibly powerful way you loved Haley while she was in your arms and love her memory now.
I was watching Friends the other day. It was one of the later episodes when Chandler and Monica were trying to adopt a baby. Chandler said that Monica was "already a mother. She's just a mother without a baby." I remembered you at that point and cried a little.
So many prayers are always with you. Heal yourself and keep an eye out for signs from Haley. She's there, right beside you when you need her most.